Science Fair 2015

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So this girl won third place in her division and second place overall for her science project!  

 

 

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You do not want to know what they were laughing at!  I just had to share this picture though.  Just looking at it makes me laugh.

 

 

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They had the coolest activities there for the kids to do and to show the families that showed up. 

 

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I love them to the moon and back!

I love everything about these kids.  :)

 

As this week comes to an end, I am looking forward to getting my meals together and getting ready to start week four of InsanityMax30.  I have zero plans tomorrow and I am going to church with a friend of mine Sunday! 

 

I hope you have an amazing weekend!!

Being Steadfast

Do you every think of the past or past mistakes and it just take over every thought and action of that day?  That week?  I do.  I mean if the Olympics had a games surrounded by that very thing, I would win. 

We all think that right?

 

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Well guess what?

We can decide in an instant to not let that take over our lives!

Those things in our past don’t have to define who we are this very day.  This second. 

There are some big mess ups in my past let me tell ya but I know that when God looks at me, He doesn’t see this screw-up or this mistake.  He sees His daughter and oh how He loves her.

 

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I read something this morning that I wanted to share with you….

 

But this I called to mind, and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”

Lamentations 3:21-24

 

 

Simply put every morning that I get up, it’s new.  My thoughts are new.  My actions are new.  My words are new.  Everything. 

 

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Our love for Jesus is deep.

But His love for us is deeper.

His love for us is constant,

whatever season or state we’re in.

He redeems us and refines us because of

this great love, not because

of what we do. 

SheReadsTruth

 

 

Health/Workouts:

So the last few weeks I have cut lots of sweets and extra’s out of my diet and I am starting to see and feel the difference! 

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I have also been doing the InsanityMax30

 

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I am on my third week with this program and it’s my favorite so far. Even sticking to the modifications!

 

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I think that part of the difference this time has been the shoes that I am wearing.  Nike Free and they are perfect for this type of workout. 

 

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As for my meals, I have been really cutting my portions and sticking to my meal plan.  I have a couple of recipes that I want to share with you too!  Coming soon!!  Taco Soup and Paleo Cookies

 

Well, that’s about it for now… I hope you had a wonderful day! 

True Identity

Good morning to you and Happy Sunday! 

It’s been a minute since I was last here but sometimes that just happens. 

 

I wanted to share with you one of the things that I ready in my quiet time this morning.  The house is quiet and it’s raining.  That’s all that I hear and it’s such a beautiful sound.  I love that it was quiet enough for me to hear the whisper of Jesus.  In those moments I feel closer to Him.  As if we are having a cup of coffee talking about well……Him.

My Identity.

Growing up I was a chunker let me tell ya.  I couldn’t wait to eat.  Anything really, but I found my love in sweets.  Candy, cupcakes, chocolate…..you name it, I ate it.  It’s not something that you really even think about as a kid, you just do it.  You haven’t yet figured out that our bodies react differently to food.  Some it has no affect. Me on the other hand…… I can just think about a good piece of cake with extra icing and my pants get tight.

It is what it is.

Slowly but surely I started to feel like my identity came from being the “fat one”.  Thoughts would consume me of wanting to lose weight and wanting to be like all of the others girls and yet I was only a kid. 

 

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As I got older, it only got worse.  I never dated.  I didn’t have a boyfriend in school.  My favorite thing was to go grocery shopping with my mom and then want to eat the things that I had gotten all at once. 

Even now, I struggle with this.  My identity.  Where does it come from? 

And then I hear it.

That whisper.

“You are Mine”

Did you hear it that time?

“You are My daughter”

 

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His Word tells me that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made”.  My identity comes straight from Him and Him alone.  I don’t have to answer to anyone else for that.  Even in the midst of a difficult season or wilderness, I am still His and for whatever purpose it may be difficult for a time.  I am reminded everyday however, He is faithful and He is good and He most definitely loves me.

Because?

I am His.

 

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I hope you have an amazing day!

Goals and Such

As I get ready for the coming week, I wanted to share with you some of the things that I am going to be working on.  Goals.  Things I want to reach.

Something that I am trying to do or achieve.

 

Bible Reading:

First I wanted to share with you what I read this morning.  :) 

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The Job answered the LORD and said:  I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.  Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?  Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things top wonderful for me, which I did not know.  Hear, and I will speak; I will question you, and you make it known to me.  I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.

Job 42:1-6

I am in a season of moving forward and leaving behind past regrets and mistakes.  Something I think will be a beautiful journey, both difficult and beautiful. 

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One of the hardest things that a person let alone a women can learn about themselves, is that they don’t have it all together.  Especially in their walk with the LORD.  Even when you think you feel close to Him, you can always get closer.

Even when your time spent with Him is enough, you can always spend more time with Him.

I am at a crossroads in my walk with Him and because I am a completely different person I feel like I am starting over. 

Getting to know my Creator as I am now.  I must admit that as frightening and scary as it sounds, I feel excited.  Well, enough excitement that makes me want to go forward.  ;)

I believe and know that it will be a beautiful journey for me. 

 

Fitness:

As you know I started using the Insanity Max :30 workouts and I have been loving them!  Well, my body hasn’t.  Let me explain. 

When you start a fitness program, you must get the proper equipment and you must master proper form. 

Neither of which I had.

I hurt myself.

More specifically, my back.

My lower back down to my left hip.

I was not pleased at all.

I even eventually had to go to the doctor and get a shot in my backside. 

I couldn’t even make it to work due to the fact that I couldn’t even set up straight!

I was slightly embarrassed.

Anyway, I haven’t worked out since last Saturday and I feel horrible!

The unfortunate thing that they do at the doctors office is weigh you and I found out that I weigh 182 pounds.  What?!?  Over the last year, I have put on 25 pounds and I would like to lose 30.  My BMI is 31% and knowing that made my eyes bug out! 

I feel my best at 150 pounds and with a BMI of 27-28.  Still not perfect in the worlds eyes, but it suits me just fine. 

What does this mean?

It means goals that what it means.

 

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It also means that I ordered the proper gear for my workouts.  Shoes.

I will be sticking to the modification until I master each move.

I will be sticking to a “whole 30ish” type of eating.  Mostly of protein and no processed foods.

I will do my very best.

 

Lately:

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It snowed.  A lot.

 

I also had a Saturday date…….with myself.

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Whole Foods, Barnes and Noble, and new books.

Love Does by Bob Goff

You’re Already Amazing by Holley Gerth

Both of which you should check out!

I also have the book It Was Me All Along by Andie Mitchell.  This book is amazing!! 

 

 

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My Nanny :)

Catching Up.

As I type this up it’s raining outside.  You know, that cold rain.  It’s supposed to turn into freezing rain and snow later on tonight but we’ll see. 

 

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It’s been a bit since we last spoke but one of the most difficult things I find about blogging is that I spend the entire day a work on a computer and sometimes getting on one when I am home is preeeeetty difficult. 

However, blogging is one of my favorite things to do.  I love sharing my life and I love reading about others and and learning from them.  I shamefully admit that I am probably addicted to Instagram.  ;)  But I guess there are worse things to be addicted to.

 

Today is Sunday and today is also my rest day.  I went to church this morning with my dad and was able to use my brand new bible!  Yesterday I went up to Little Rock to Barns and Noble with my sister-n-law Lynn and my niece and nephew and just had a wonderful time!  I think that I could spend all day in a place like that!  We had Chinese for lunch and then headed home in the rain. 

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I stayed up in the sounds booth with my brother this morning to keep him awake.  He had taken some medicine for his sinus’s and it was making him a bit sleepy.  Sister can get away with thumping their brothers in the ear if need be.  :)

 

I spent Valentine’s Day with my niece…..

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We went to get some yogurt at a nearby yogurt place…… We had the place all to ourselves at first but by the time we were leaving, it had started to get busy. 

 

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I started doing the Insanity Max :30 a couple of weeks ago and I love it!

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Crazy eyes!

 

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You know, when I first thought about doing this workout, I thought there is just no way that I can do it!  I am too big of a girl to be jumpin’ around and throwing my body all over the place.  I mean dang…….I am 40! 

And then I thought, “excuses”……. Just plain ole excuses!  I will never know unless I try it and if I don’t try it, I’ll never get to a place that says, “I can do this!”

Here’s the thing.  I surprised myself.  You don’t have to already be fit to try something like this and the passion that ShaunT has about helping others achieve their goals just comes off of your TV! 

I didn’t think that I could do it, but now I know that I can.

 

Guess what?!?

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This happened.

We have a new Whole Foods Market!!!  The other store was smaller and a bit cramped but this one is huge!  I mean when you walk in it’s just a beautiful sight!

 

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I am still working on balance in my diet and trying to eliminate the bad stuff….

 

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Lastly, here are some pictures of the furbabies….

 

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Emma and Sophie with some crazy eyes for cheese!

 

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I was happy for the weekend. 

Happy to be around family.

Happy for cuddle time with the furbabies on a cold day.

Happy to be in church.

Happy to have a new bible.

 

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I think I will have a cup of hot tea now…. :)  And maybe some dark chocolate. 

40 Plus One Day

My sweet friends :) 

 

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40 years young plus one day doesn’t feel so bad :)

Not that everyone has to have their birthday off, I sure am glad that I did. 

 

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birthday pizza and cheesecake!

 

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Can you even stand it???  Spending my birthday with my family was the best thing ever but most of all spending it with this little girl was too!

 

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She stayed by me pretty much all day but I didn’t mind it at all…  :)

 

Yesterday I kept my dad pretty busy by rearranging my room a bit…

 

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Oh the struggle is real people!!

 

If you know me, then you know I like things to be clean and in order.  My niece asked me one day…..”is cleaning your favorite thing to do?”  lol….. Some think that it is… :)

I find it funny that others don’t like to clean!  lol!

It’s actually not my favorite thing to do but I do like things to be clean.  There is a difference.

Because I spend most of my time in my room….working out, sleeping, watching tv, reading…etc.  I like my space to be neat and clean.  Is it always?  Uh, no. 

It’s my domain.

It’s my space.

It’s my gym.

It’s my church.

It’s my pity party room.

It’s my dance fever party place.

It’s my cuddle place with my fur-babies.

It’s my sleepover room with my niece and nephew and there is always a Scooby-doo movie involved or the movie Annie.

It’s my happy place….which means….

It’s my sad place.

 

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It was such a beautiful day yesterday!  The weather was AMAZING!

 

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So this happened Monday or was it Tuesday?

Plantain tortillas.

Um, I don’t think the plantains were ripe enough because they were NOT good.

Here is the recipe that I used:

  • 2 plantains (large)
  • 3 tbsp of coconut oil (melted)
  • pinch of salt
  • 2 egg whites

I am not sure if maybe there were too many of the other ingredients or the fact that the plantains were not ripe enough but yack.

I will be attempting this recipe again.

Any suggestions that I might try or change???

 

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Currently binging on the above.

Just three more seasons to go!! 

 

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L.O.V.E this song!!

 

I hope you had an amazing day!! 

Self Harm

So this is going to be another one of those hard posts and frankly I feel very vulnerable in doing so but I also think it’s important to talk about the hard stuff.  I went to church yesterday with my family and it was good to be there.  I sat up in the control box with my brother because I think he is cool.

 

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So lets get to the hard stuff. 

Self Harm.

As you read this, please keep in mind that I am not diagnosing myself with anything or am I advising you on each of these topics.  This is mainly to just express the fact that there are things I think we can do to ourselves without even thinking about it or evening thinking that we are self-harming ourselves.

Please bear with me. 

As I look back over my life and in thinking about the things that I struggle with, I have realized there are particular things that I do to deal.

Lets get started.

 

1.  Let’s go ahead and get the ugly one out of the way shall we?  Sex.  In nearly every relationship that I have been in, I have used this to fill a void that I was missing.  When that person began to pull away or not want to be with me anymore, I would end up degrading myself by using sex to keep that person.  To feel something.  Surely if they do this with me, they love me right?  Wrong.  Something that used to be so sacred to me I have just thrown away on men who really didn’t deserve it.  Don’t get me wrong I haven’t had that many partners but one is enough when it comes to this.  Even the most recent man that I was seeing I used this. Somehow you don’t even think about it, you just do it.  You want so badly for that person to love you that you compromise everything that you value.  Even yourself.  You desperately want to be touched that you settle for something dirty.  I lost my virginity when I was 30 and even as I type that out, it sounds very immature. I have experienced all of my “firsts” as an adult.  I have treated something so beautiful horribly and made it trash. And shall I say that most men (not all) are willing participants.

Not only does this harm me physically but spiritually.  I carry this around with me everyday like a backpack filled with rocks.  Heavy ones.  Everyday. 

 

2.  Food.  Something that I know most people can relate to…….. over-eating.  When things in my life feel very out of control, I can always control food.  Happy, eat.  Bored, eat.  Stressed, eat.  Depressed, eat.  Feel alone, eat.  Lonely, eat.  All of which can result in weight-gain, depression, fatigue, and illness. For me, when this takes place, my body tends to crave the bad stuff and then it becomes this endless cycle of eating junk and nothing healthy.  

 

3.  Exercising.  I can remember when I discovered the fact that I loved to workout.  There is something about the way you feel when you are finished that is so great!  But I have also been known to do too much.  As I age, I have noticed that I am more apt to get an injury or jacked muscle when it comes to working out,  especially when my diet is off. 

 

4.  Spending.  Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would struggle with money.  I don’t have bad credit or anything but man there have been many times that I have purchased something that I really didn’t need only to feel so much guilt and shame over it later. 

 

5.  Interfering with healing.  Sadly this one is more embarrassing to me than the whole sex thing.  If I have a sore, especially a small one, I will pick it to death.  Sounds weird I know, but it’s the truth.  There is something that actually happens when I do it.  I feel something.   A release of sorts.  Sounds even weirder I know.  I have had a place that has been on my body since last March because I won’t leave it alone. Time and time again I’ll go to it out of habit and just pick.  It’s embarrassing and gross and frankly something I didn’t think that I would even admit or tell someone about. 

 

Here is the definition of self-harm:

The act of hurting one self deliberately.  Causing harm or to injure. 

Intentional

Wounding

Impulsive

Punishment

 

There you have it.

I didn’t share these things to make you look at me differently nor did I share them because I love to share.  I think that we are so afraid to share the ugly, hard stuff that we hold all of this inside and let me tell ya, it has to come out somehow, someway.  All of these things, in some way, has damaged me and most importantly damaged my relationship with Christ. 

Because my relationship with Him isn’t right, I have allowed these things to run my life. 

 

This past Sunday I walked away from the sermon with this.  Repent. 

The conversation with my brother.  Repent.

To be able to move forward and let go of these things, I must seek forgiveness. 

I must also forgive myself.

 

 

 

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Emma makes me smile.

 

It’s my birthday today and I am officially in the 40 club.  :)

But as I end this post, I feel very thankful. 

Thankful for my family and thankful for you.

But most of all, thankful for God’s unending love, mercy and grace.

 

:)