It’s hard to believe that the weekend is really coming to an end. Sad face. Oh well, I am a creature of habit and actually like having a regular routine.
Yesterday afternoon I hung out with Angey and her daughter Brianna. We went to the Good Will Store that is nearby and also hit up a couple of shoe places to find these shoes called Tom’s. Not sure, but it’s what all the cool kids are wearing these days. They look like house shoes to me.
While we were at the Good Will store, Angey and I shortly discussed how women size each other up. Even without trying to do it. Crazy right?! Have you ever done it? We immediately start wishing we looked a certain way, or start cutting ourselves down. Am I alone? Hope not. Anyway, I am proud of where I have been and that I have accomplished the weight loss, but I don’t think I have truly excepted my curves. I don’t want to simply reach for a particular size pair of jeans. I want to be healthy. Don’t you?
So how do we get there? What kind of plan do we need? Here are my own thoughts. I think that part of becoming healthy is starting with the inside and being honest with ourselves. Over that last few years I have battled anxiety. It started slowly, but over the months and years it’s morphed into wanting to be in control of everything and a perfectionist. If I could pinpoint a time or place that it started, I would have to say it started with my weight issues way back when I was a teen. Once I was in my very first relationship and it ending in a way that told me I wasn’t good enough, the anxiety hit a new level. No one really wants to admit that they need help, or even that they might need medication, but sometimes it is what needs to happen. I don’t advocate anti-depression meds, or anxiety medication every person is different, but I don’t think they are a bad thing. Some people can just turn it off like a switch, but others can’t do that.
About 9 months ago I went to my “lady” doctor and explained to him some of the things that I had been feeling.
- not sleeping
- horrible eating habits
- did I mention anger?
There were tons of other things that I was dealing with, but these pretty much narrow it down. I told him that I felt like I was coming out of my skin. I looked at him and said, “am I going crazy?” He told me no of course, but I am here to tell you that crazy is what I felt like. He prescribed some medication and after a couple of weeks I felt much better. It was easier to put a thought together and things seemed to not bother me as much.
Here we are and it’s 9 months later. A few weeks ago I started to notice some of my symptoms coming back. I felt anxious about everything. Do you ever worry when you don’t even have anything to worry about? Crazy I know. Everything started to bother me again. I changed some things in my diet and my workouts and nothing seemed to work. I called my dr. again and explained to him that I felt overwhelmed. Truth be told, I felt like I had so much on my plate that I couldn’t cram one more thing into my brain. Work, my Seminary class, church, and trying to balance my healthy lifestyle. Something had to go. These may not seem like a whole lot, but to me just getting out of bed was becoming difficult. My Dr. changed my meds, which I wasn’t too thrilled about, but I am trusting him to know it was the right thing to do. I feel like I am still adjusting to the medication, but overall feel a little better about things. I have also stopped the Seminary class. I spoke to my teacher last Monday and explained to him my situation, and that I might not be able to finish the class. Thank goodness he understood. He is a pastor first and he really helped me. Thanks Rusty!
This is why working on the inside of our lives is much more important than the outside. Loving myself is very hard for me to do. Crazy when I know that Christ dwells inside of me.
So this is what I am going to do. I want to work on getting some quiet time in every day. Not just for myself, but for those around me as well. I want to be able to let go of things that cause me anxiety. It’s not a switch that I can turn off, but I want to be able to tell the difference between real concern and just plain being a worry wart. That’s the first step and frankly, that’s all I can handle right now. Quiet time.
Ener-G brown rice bread (gluten-free), a banana, and some dark chocolate peanut butter
- 1 frozen banana
- 1/2 cup of cherries
- 1 tsp of chia seeds
- 1 tbsp flax
- 1 cup of 35 Calorie almond milk
- 1 tbsp of dark chocolate peanut butter
I have tons of Jillian Michael’s DVD’s, but I have never really stuck to her workouts for more than a few weeks. Or, I have done them for longer, but never how she prescribes. So, I have decided to do the Ripped in 30 DVD for a solid 30 days. I will workout Monday thru Friday with the DVD and Saturday and Sunday will be used as active rest days.
Monday: Ripped in 30 Level 1
Tuesday: Ripped in 30 Level 1
Wednesday: Ripped in 30 Level 1
Thursday: Ripped in 30 Level 1
Friday: Ripped in 30 Level 1
Saturday: active rest day
Sunday: active rest day
So there you have it. All of my dirty laundry and all. I really questioned whether or not to share as much as I did, but I am glad that I did. Remember, everyone is different. What works for me, may not work for everyone else. I am not a doctor, a licensed trainer, or a dietician. These are just my opinions.
I hope you have a wonderful afternoon!!