Faith Fitness and Laughter

Life, So Far

It’s been a very long time since I last posted and to say that so much has happened since then is an understatement.  I would probably say that I am also a different person. 

I would love to compile a list of things that have happened since I last posted but that would take too long and I wouldn’t really know where to begin.  One of the major things that has taken place and what’s caused me to want to funnel my energy into the blog again, is that my mom passed away. 

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Here she is with her babies, Emma and Sophie

 

I really can’t even put it into words or express my feelings in regards to the loss of my mom. I really thought that this part of my life was a long way off.  I mean how do you say goodbye to this person that has loved you even before you were born.

 

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My mom was my biggest fan.  She was the one that was always on my side and on my team.  The one that encouraged me and told me that I was beautiful.  She was the one that, even at 42, I would still lay across her lap and hug her.  I thought I would have more time with her.  It feels so foreign and strange not having her here and going through some of her things sucks the life out of me. 

 

My parents were married for 47 years and I am so thankful that God put them together.

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I am so thankful for the memories that I have with her and of her.  I am thankful for the example of a Proverbs 31 Woman and what she taught me about putting Christ first. 

I love you mom and I miss you so much. 

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A Roller Coaster

Last night when I went to bed I knew that when I woke up this morning, I wanted to be ready to make some changes in my life.  I feel like I’m on this roller coaster when it comes to my personal life.  Can I get off now?  I am so tired of allowing men to shape how I view myself.

Inside and out.

 

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What is it in me that is so lacking that I feel the need for a man to define me?

I have never been in a healthy relationship and at this point, I am not sure I would even recognize one.  I can’t even recognize what’s ok and what’s not ok in a relationship.  I went the hard and difficult way to find out that sex, is not love.

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I turn myself inside out trying to please that person and literally become who they want.  How is that right?  Or fair?

 

I want so badly to be healthy not just on the outside, but in my heart and thought process.  Over the last few months I have been called; fat, crazy, victim, petty, fake, dumb a**.  I’ve even been told that I have a screw loose. 

And these are just words to my face.

Spoken by more than one person.

Some of them out of my own mouth.

 

How are these words ok?

And I am not telling you this for you to feel sorry for me.  Don’t.

I am not perfect and I have done things that are wrong and horrible.

 

How do you get up out of bed each day with these words weighing you down.  I can tell you that sometimes, it really difficult.  Some days, it seems impossible.

 

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I long for a husband and partner to be with, but what if it never happens?  I have to be okay with that.  I’m just not sure if the process of accepting it is something I can pull off with grace and dignity.

I am so insecure when it comes to men that when they aren’t interested in being with me, the rejection I feel is crippling.  My fear is that the wall I have surrounded myself with to keep from getting hurt will cause me to miss out on something wonderful.

 

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I have learned that every season that we go through, God is right there with us. 

Every season is different and sometimes really difficult.

The dark night of the soul can last days, weeks, months, or even years. 

My value doesn’t come from any earthly thing.

It’s okay to not be okay.

 

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He Is

I have seen this several times but I wanted to share it with you this morning.  Lately, I have needed a reminder of who God is.  I have forgotten that our purpose is to love Him and have a relationship with Him.  All the other stuff?  Extras and blessings.

 

Who’s Your Daddy?

Remembering Who you belong to in trying times.

 

He is the first and the last

The beginning and the end.

He’s the Keeper of Creation and the Creator of all.

He’s the architect of the universe and the manager of all time.

He always was, always is and always will be.

Unmoved

Unchanged

Undefeated

and never undone.

He was bruised but brought healing.

He was pierced but eased pain.

He was persecuted but brought freedom.

He was dead and brings life.

He is risen to bring power!

And He reigns to bring peace.

The world can’t understand Him.

Armies can’t defeat Him.

Schools can’t explain Him

And leaders, they can’t ignore Him.

Herod couldn’t kill Him.

Nero couldn’t crush Him.

The new age cannot replace Him

And Oprah cannot explain Him away.

 

You remind yourself that His life, His love, He is longevity and He is the Lord.

He is goodness and kindness and faithfulness

And He is God.

He is holy and righteous and powerful and pure.

His ways are right.

His Word eternal

His will unchanging

And His mind is on us.

He’s our savior, our guide, our peace, our joy, our comfort, our Lord

And He rules our lives.

I serve Him because

His bond is love

His yoke is easy

His burden is light

and His goal for us is abundant life.

I follow Him because

He’s the wisdom of the wise.

The power of the powerful.

The ancient of days.

The ruler of all rulers

The leader of all leaders.

His goal is a relationship with me.

He’ll never leave you

Never forsake you

Never mislead you

Never forget you

Never overlook you

and never cancel your appointment is His appointment book.

Never.

When you fall, He’ll lift you up.

When you fail, He’ll forgive you.

When you’re weak, Hs is strong.
When you’re lost, He is your way.

When you’re afraid, He’s your courage.

When you stumble, He will steady you.

When you’re hurt, He’s gonna heal you.

When you’re broken, He will mend you.

When you’re blind, He will lead you.

When you’re hungry, He will feed you.

When you face trials, He is with you.

When I face persecution, He shields me.

When I face problems, He will comfort me.

When I face loss, He will provide for me.

And when we face death, He will carry us all home to meet Him.

He is everything

for everybody

everywhere

every time

and in every way.

He is your God.

That sisters, is Who you belong to. 

 

 

He is by Priscilla Shire

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Just in case…

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Just in case you needed a reminder 🙂

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The Very Best

You know, it’s funny how things happen and how all things work together.  Time and time again I find myself wondering the good ole “what if’s”.   How you can go from one thing onto the next and wonder how in the world it all happened so fast.

 

Recently I had someone come back into my life and I was actually pretty excited about it.  Those feelings you thought you had long buried come flooding back and smack you right in the face!  lol….   The newness.  The different people that you turned out to be.  You feel ready.  You hope they are. 

But you know what?

I found out that when God says He wants the very best for you, He means it. 

I am not talking about eating ice cream out of the container while watching your favorite movie best.

Or listening to it rain while reading a book you cannot put down best.

Or getting to your goal weight best.

 

Its the very best.  Because we don’t think the way that God thinks, we may have a hard time understanding what that very best is.  When two people try to start a relationship or try to get to know each other, if it’s not the very best of what God wants for us, then it’s not His will. 

When things came out in the open, I was actually okay with it.  I mean I’m a girl and I have feelings so of course I had my cry, but I also know that Jesus is my savior and He loves me so much that He reaches down and wipes my tears away.  He reaches down to me from Heaven.  From His thrown.  He tells me that I am loved and that I am worthy of love. 

 

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He reaches down and he whispers to us that His purpose for us is far greater than what we can imagine. 

 

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We are all human and we all want someone to love us.  It’s really hard sometimes to think about how long I have been single….but what’s important is that I already do have someone who loves me.  Someone that knew everything about me even before the creation of the entire world and loves me anyway. 

 

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So remember that no matter what you are dealing with, big or small, He is right there waiting for you to turn to Him.  Because He is the very best

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