Faith Fitness and Laughter

A Roller Coaster

Last night when I went to bed I knew that when I woke up this morning, I wanted to be ready to make some changes in my life.  I feel like I’m on this roller coaster when it comes to my personal life.  Can I get off now?  I am so tired of allowing men to shape how I view myself.

Inside and out.

 

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What is it in me that is so lacking that I feel the need for a man to define me?

I have never been in a healthy relationship and at this point, I am not sure I would even recognize one.  I can’t even recognize what’s ok and what’s not ok in a relationship.  I went the hard and difficult way to find out that sex, is not love.

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I turn myself inside out trying to please that person and literally become who they want.  How is that right?  Or fair?

 

I want so badly to be healthy not just on the outside, but in my heart and thought process.  Over the last few months I have been called; fat, crazy, victim, petty, fake, dumb a**.  I’ve even been told that I have a screw loose. 

And these are just words to my face.

Spoken by more than one person.

Some of them out of my own mouth.

 

How are these words ok?

And I am not telling you this for you to feel sorry for me.  Don’t.

I am not perfect and I have done things that are wrong and horrible.

 

How do you get up out of bed each day with these words weighing you down.  I can tell you that sometimes, it really difficult.  Some days, it seems impossible.

 

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I long for a husband and partner to be with, but what if it never happens?  I have to be okay with that.  I’m just not sure if the process of accepting it is something I can pull off with grace and dignity.

I am so insecure when it comes to men that when they aren’t interested in being with me, the rejection I feel is crippling.  My fear is that the wall I have surrounded myself with to keep from getting hurt will cause me to miss out on something wonderful.

 

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I have learned that every season that we go through, God is right there with us. 

Every season is different and sometimes really difficult.

The dark night of the soul can last days, weeks, months, or even years. 

My value doesn’t come from any earthly thing.

It’s okay to not be okay.

 

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Just in case…

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Just in case you needed a reminder 🙂

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Keep Going

Happy Sunday to you!!

I just got home from church and I wanted to share something that was on my mind 🙂

 

Let me remind you today my dear friends. 

No matter how dark.

No matter how hard.

No matter how difficult.

No matter how life altering.

No matter how much the sorrow hurts.

 

You can know and cling to the fact that Jesus loves you and He can restore you. 

 

Cling to the promises that are true.

And when you think that you can’t go on.

He will give you just enough strength to keep going….

and keep going

and keep going.

 

This song is life right now….. I love it and just can’t get enough of it. 

Hands That Are Holding Me by Meredith Andrews

 

 

 

 

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This is happening Monday!! 

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Life Happens

How is it that a few weeks could go by and you feel like it was an instant?  A brief moment.  A season. 

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I love this quote.  Mainly because life really does just happen.  There are high moments and there are low moments.  Life can be confusing and it can also be overwhelming.  Lots of times I could be one decision away from wanting to close the doors to my heart and remain in darkness.  To feel the coldness of the dark on my face.  Not speaking.  Not feeling.

But what kind of life is that? 

It’s not one.

No matter how we plan our lives out and what we expect it to look like, God will turn it into something that we couldn’t have even imagined.  Something amazing. 

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Here’s the thing.  God is not surprised when I mess up, nor is He surprised when I do something amazing.  I am His daughter.  He loved me (and you) before the entire world was in form.

We just have to let him work in our lives.  We have to make deliberate choices to smile instead of cry.  Deliberate choices to love each other and ourselves enough to want better instead of darkness.

 

Oh my brothers and sisters how He loves us!  We don’t have to be in darkness, shame and regret for a certain amount of time before He’ll love us again.  There isn’t anything that you or I can do that will take that love away from us. 

God is interested in the finished product.  He’s already seen it.  His eternal purpose is to bring us into the image and likeness of Jesus Christ.

He will do anything in His power to tell you;

I love you

I love you

I love you

I love you

 

The best part?

His love never fails. 

 

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This sweet, amazing, beautiful girl turns 11 on the 30th! 

 

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My dad and nephew Dalton

 

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Food and Fitness:

The past few weeks have been up and down when it comes to food and fitness.  Lately, I have found my inner child and have rekindled my love for pop tarts.  Strawberry and blueberry.  Oh the struggle. 

Is very real.

My parents have been home this weekend and my dad so kindly made me some chili to eat on for the coming week.  Meal prep done!!  🙂

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As for fitness, I will be doing a hybrid of weight training, Piyo and Insanity Max 30 (modification only).  With the joint issues and stiffness I am having, I will be listening closely to my body. 

Sleep!!  I will be getting back on a better sleep schedule.  I go to bed early but it’s getting up at 3:30 or 4 to start my day when I really don’t have to, is starting to wear on me.

 

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Please go check out this song! 

 

Happy Sunday my friends. 

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Let’s Talk about Fitness

Lets talk fitness shall we.  This past January I turned 40 and let me just say that fitness at 40 is nothing like fitness at 25.  Gone are the days that I could just pop up out of bed and start my workout.  Gone are the days where if I did a vigorous workout, I didn’t feel it the next day.   And then the next.

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So I have to say that my niece painted that flower free-handed.  I love her.

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To the moon and back.

 

 

Anyway, fitness. 

I really had different thoughts about fitness when I was younger.  I actually didn’t start paying attention to it until I started my weight loss journey.  I was 25.  I would get up early and go to the gym and just walk on the treadmill.  That’s it.  Now?  Oh I still get up early but it’s mainly to get my joints lubricated and get woke up. 

So I’m about to be frank fella’s……  but I think that most of the ones I know reading this wouldn’t expect anything less.

I think that when I noticed my body not reacting the same way to my workouts was a year ago this month.  I had gone to see my parents where they live part-time and um….my….”visitor” was visiting that month and it was a very hard one.  Getting up in the middle of the night.  Twice.  Pain that I had never felt before and just all around different.  This went on for the next couple of months and so I knew that I needed to be seen by my lovely lady doctor.  Oh I knew what was happening and what I am enduring……. pre-menopause. 

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Little did I know how much of an impact it was going to have on my life of health and fitness.

 

I knew that when I started my journey into weight loss and health, I would forever be conscious of what I eat and drink.  Do I always?  No, not always…..I still enjoy life when it comes to food but man can it be exhausting sometimes.  Now, I feel like I need to be more conscious than ever at my age.  At first it felt overwhelming to even think about that part of my life, mainly due to the fact that I wasn’t living right and had other things going on.  But now, other than my relationship with Christ and my family, my health is the most important thing.  I am a firm believer that because I was living an unhealthy lifestyle…..spiritually and physically….these were the main contributors to my depression.  If I’m not careful, I can easily find myself right back there in that very dark place. 

Yeah, gone are those days as I talked about earlier, but I am actually ok with that.  I have my routine and it works for me.  Sometimes I don’t listen to my body very carefully and do something that puts me down for a bit but I have settled it in my heart that I am not 25 and I know what my body can and can’t do. 

 

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I try to follow a Whole 30/Paleo type of lifestyle.  Sometimes it’s 90/10 or 80/20 and depending on the craziness of life, it can be 70/30.

Milk does not like me! 

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That’s why I have to limit these babies….. 🙂

 

I try to listen to my gut (literally) and let it tell me if a certain type of food upsets my tummy. Oh you know what I’m talkin’ about! Poop can tell you eveything you need to know about your gut.  But I promise, if you ever follow either lifestyle (Whole 30 or Paleo) your gut will thank you.  Forever.

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Some of my favorites.

 

 

What are my favorite workouts?

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What it boils down to is this.  I want everything that I do to glorify God and that even means my health.  When I mistreat my body, I am mistreating what God has given me to manage for a time.  I want and need to treat it right. 

Wherever you are right now in your journey or in your Walk and it is including your health and it’s frustrating, stop and take a deep breath and pray. Pray about what you need to do or change in your life that will keep you moving forward. Pray about what foods to eat.  Pray that everything you eat will give you the strength to carry out the plan that He has for you. 

He loves it when we love ourselves enough to do these things.

 

Goodnight my sweet friends. 🙂

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